Tuesday, February 16, 2010

CNMG/NCC/TRINIDAD GOVERNMENT FULL OF SHIT

PREACH IT BROTHA, YE PRESERVER OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, WINEABLE, AND TRINIDADIAN!!!!

Sign into facebook and listen to this video:


It is Errol Fabien, executive director of Gayelle, one of the only (if not THE only) Trinidadian station completely dedicated to coverage of local culture and events.

So why de ass has CNMG been awarded the FULL rights to broadcast carnival events from the National Carnival Commission?????????????????

I'll admit that I don't know as much as I should about this issue, but until then, from my completely unbiased opinion, I confidently state that it is because the Trinidadian government, the National Carnival Commission, and perhaps even CNMG itself, are all FULL OF SHIT.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Mavado inspires kids to change the world but hold on to their guns


WHAT DE ASS?

I am amazed by the brilliance of dancehall artistes in Jamaica, especially Mavado (no relation to the watch). Dancehall music in Jamaica has been accused of a lot of things, from inciting violence against gays to promoting sexually irresponsible behaviour (please google 'daggerin'). Mavado's no different- he rose to fame with his highly original album, 'Gangsta for Life' (please google Tupac Shakur's 'Thug Life). So anyway, Mavado's PR people have realized that to be invited to perform at shows like the 23rd annual UCLA Jazz Festival where the other headlining act is Erykah Badu, and to perhaps be able to make the artist more appealing to his mom, several baby mamas, and young people old enough to realize that they shouldn't kill people simply because Mavado persistently and convincingly tells them to, that the artist should perhaps write lyrics that are slightly less offensive.

But Mavado hasn't exactly gotten it right.

In his newest offering, 'Starlight,' Mavado gives us all the inspiring anthem cliches, from claiming that he no longer promotes violence ("violence mi cease!") to blaming Jamaica's leaders for everything that's wrong with society and saying that everyone should unite, yadda yadda yadda, we are the world, we are the children yadda yadda. Yawn, Mavado. We definitely take you to be a serious artist and upstanding citizen of society now.

This ain't why he's been pissing me off, however. Mavado still mentions IN THE SAME SONG that he still had mad love for his 'guns, girls, money[and] house.' Thanks for helping us value the finer things in life, Mavado. Anyone know where I can find some impressionable youth at? They gotta hear this shit like, right now. Forreals.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hang the DJ!

Somebody please give this woman a Chaconia medal.



Today's letter goes out to 95.1 FM/93.5 FM cause I cah really tell the difference.*

Dear Irritating Alternatives to Already Irritating Radio Stations,

I'm not too sure it has come to your attention, but it is humanly impossibly for someone to hear Owl City's "Fireflies" three times in one hour without spontaneously combusting. Perhaps you can find it in your hearts when you do some serious soul-searching to admit it to yourselves that "Owl City" and "shitty" are too close to rhyming to be a coincidence.

Macka Diamond and Denise Belfon think you can handle it (But I am seriously doubtful)

Probably my two favourite people in the world (Macka "Hula Hoop" Diamond and Denise "Saucy Wow" Belfon) have teamed up to produce the most uplifting song since Journey's "Don't Stop Believing"- a catchy little gem entitled "Think U Can Handle It." With the forces of both bumpers combined, I personally don't think you can. But if two professional winers do, who am I to say anything at all?

Monday, January 18, 2010

Meiling 2010: A Review



I'll admit it- When it comes to Meiling, I often wonder what all the fuss is about.

She's definitely one of Trinidad's most well-known designers, and she seems to have been around so long that her brand is something of a legend.

But what about the clothes? Have they warranted all the attention they've received throughout the years?....

With a U, bitches!


Sometimes, when I hear the words penned by a particularly brilliant lyricist, I want to wander the forests feeding off of wild mushrooms and dead birds in self-imposed exile, leaving only when I've found a way to write something just as profound.

Observe this line in DJ Kayslay's 2010 "Thug Luv" (not to be confused with Tupac's version):

"Spaghetti with no onions/ she got pretty feet, toes with no bunions."



See ya around, kids- I'll be in the wilderness for a while.
 
 
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